Into The Light
by sinxical
Summary: Nancy Lupin thought the biggest scandal she'd have to face this year was her father being the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher; man was she wrong.
1. new year, new troubles

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**chapter one:**

new year, new trouble

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**NANCY HAS ALWAYS HATED THIS **time of year, the time when the year starts**.**

It's always a false promise of new beginnings and 'don't worry kid you're nearly there's. It's just another reminder that she, Nancy Lupin, has another year of school, growing steadily closer to the oblivion of adulthood—because tragically she has no blood idea what she wants to do when she's older. Heck—Nancy doesn't even know if she's going pass all her classes this year, let alone be accepted to study at an O.W.L or N.E.W.T level in the future.

Her lack of ambition and skill doesn't even matter when it comes down to it, because despite it all she just really doesn't want to get on that damn train. And it's a puzzling—in fact, an absolutely maddening feeling because despite how much she _really_ wants to stay in bed and ignore Hogwarts, she also _really_ wants to see her friends. It's one of, if not the most, annoying conundrums of her life and never fails to repeat itself each first morning of autumn. It's just well—_it's complicated_ and even though she feels hopeless, she also has this constantly burning sense of hope. But this morning she has a plan that she's sure will at least _entice_ her father to think of staying.

"Nancy... please open the door."

She can hear the fondness in his voice. She knows he doesn't take her annual 'stand off' seriously. _Helga_, Nancy knows she doesn't take it all _that_ seriously. It's a case of telling yourself you believe you feel a certain way, when deep down you can't help feeling the opposite. Because no matter how disastrous her time at Hogwarts has been so far, she loves the place. Who doesn't like spending majority of their year in a beautiful castle in Ireland? Having a banquet of food to eat every night? It's just... if Nancy was normal like the other witches and wizards it'd make life a lot easier.

"Not until you listen to my pitch!"

A quiet chuckle breaths through the cracks of her door, she smiles at the sweetness of the deep sound.

"We'll be late."

"Not if we apparate," she sing-songs. Even then, they'd still probably be late.

He doesn't reply straight away and she waits, the right side of her face pressing against the wooden door. Finally, with a great sigh of fond exasperation:

_"Fine."_

_Score_. Nancy grins and moves to twists the handle of the door, opening it with a loud grin, a grin that slips from her face as she notices his expression. His lips are pinched, making the thin scars on his face stretch almost painfully. The full moon had only just passed, and Nancy watches as beads of blood begin to leak from the newest cuts. She can see the trepidation in his eyes... and guilt. Suddenly, Nancy realises what he's going to do; bargain.

"But you have to promise that you'll take lessons outside of your classes with me."

"I think I'm ready to go now," she mumbles hastily.

Because Nancy already has been taking lessons outside of her classes for Charms, Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts. While Charms and Transfiguration have been slightly more helpful and Nancy has tried her hardest at getting better—like the good little Hufflepuff she is—it's mostly been no good. She's able to levitate a feather for all of three seconds before setting it aflame, Transfiguration is much the same. Dark Arts however? She just either blows things up or repels them away. And the past two teachers? Hopeless.

Remus sighs. "_Nancy_. I can help you at Hogwarts, more than I can here."

Yeah—the Trace and Ministry are dicks like that. Underage wizards and witches aren't supposed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, but most still do. Except Remus is a werewolf, and despite the laws, the Ministry aren't kind or unbiased. Too much unexplainable magic and the Ministry would be knocking down their door. Besides, Trace or not, she'd just blow things up—destroying stuff until their home is more of a ramshackle than it already was.

Since First Year she's been really trying, she spent hours in abandoned classrooms trying to practise—trying to control it. But all she does is break things, one time she even threw Professor Quirrell back into a bookcase. And even though he just smiled at her, stuttering something at her, something she refused to listen to, Nancy had finally realised she wasn't _just_ wand resistant—but she was dangerous too.

So this year Nancy is accepting that she'll just be a herbologist or something... Which means no more wasting her time with extra practise, she's going to try and make the best of her third year. Stay in the background, abstaining from magical practice. Who knows? Maybe she'll find a boyfriend.

...Though that seems kind of unattainable—there's only one boy who she'd want to date and Nancy is pretty sure he has no idea she exists, or is indefinitely off his radar. But Hogsmeade will be fun and she really wants to try the sweets and chocolate from Honeydukes.

Remus clears his throat, pulling Nancy away from her thoughts and she blushes.

"You know why I don't want to do that," Nancy mumbles at her feet.

"Please Nance, let me help you."

The most horrible thing about having Remus as a father isn't the fact that he's a werewolf, Nancy has always been able to handle the moon cycles and their affect on him. No—the worst thing is that Remus is a very uncomfortable person to disappoint. Without meaning to, he shows you his sad green eyes and instantly you're overcome with the guilt of it all. And now seeing those sad green eyes, seeing the pleading and earnest in them—well it makes her want to stick a fork in her eyes to punish herself. Gosh, there's no way she can say no to him. Instead he'll just have to realise himself what a total lost cause she is.

"Can I think about it?"

Remus smiles. "Of course. But I'm afraid we're running late now."

He enters her room, squeezing her shoulder as he passes and takes hold of her trunk. Still a little thrown off from their conversation, she tries to smile but it lacks vibrancy, a poor attempt at trying to seem ok. Thankfully Remus' back is turned to her, small miracles she guesses. Her father, while sorted into Gryffindor, has the same tendency to feel extreme amounts of guilt when it comes to upsetting others. Much like Remus, Nancy apologises even when she runs into chairs. 'It's being polite' he'd say, but she knows it's more a damning trait of her own fatal flaw; being nice. It's why she's a Hufflepuff, but then again Nancy's never seen herself fitting in anywhere in the other houses.

"Too bad," she say softly. "I had a pretty compelling argument."

"I'm sure you did. Now, don't forget Slinky."

Slinky is her pet cat. He's a small and lithe creature cloaked in black, which means Nancy is always losing the damn guy. When he isn't curled around her shoulders, Slinky was... well—_slinking_ around Hogwarts in the dark corridors where he can't be seen. A real nuisance when he spots her and pounces at her feet, scaring the Helga out of her. Right now? The damned creature is curled at the bottom of her bed, purring sweetly which is something he definitely isn't.

"C'mon you beast."

Nancy picks the cat up. He yowls in protest but quiets when she places him across her shoulders, the black fur of his coat immediately warming the back of her neck. Grabbing her tote bag with her sketch book and the few muggle books Remus gave her for her birthday, she's begrudgingly—but finally—ready to leave. Taking one last look at her room, she braces herself for another year at Hogwarts. _Here's to hoping this year will be better…_

Most likely not, but at least she'll see her friends soon enough—

_Damn_... she never got to give her spill about living in the Amazon.

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Stepping onto Platform 9¾ is an event in itself. One moment your stepping past the mundane dreariness of muggle London, the next you're entering the loud bustle and cheer of wizards and witches sending their children off to Hogwarts. When she got her letter it had been... well overwhelming just doesn't seem to do the feeling justice—

_When Nancy Lupin received her letter for Hogwarts, the eleven year old girl had trembled with the envelope clutched in her hands. Sitting at their small, two seated dining table, she couldn't stop staring at the sealed letter as her dad made their favourite breakfast: banana pancakes. His back was turned to her as his tall frame was hunched over the stove top. Her grandmother was muggle-born and a lot of the time Remus chose to do things the 'muggle way'. It's something that had always interested the younger girl, many mornings she'd spend watching the intricate movements of her father's hands as he made breakfast, or when he made her bed._

_But not this morning. This morning all her blue eyes were focused on was the envelope before her. Because he had his back to her, her dad hadn't seen the owl drop the mail through the open window. She was still trembling when he sat a plate of pancakes in front of her._

_"Whatcha got there Nance?"_

_Timidly, she handed the letter to him. A little thankful not to have the letter in her hands anymore. She watched his face, the brightness that filled his green eyes as he took in the Hogwarts' emblem wax seal._

_"Nancy! This is great!" He's teeming with excitement as he handed the letter back to her, waiting patiently for her to open it._

_Except she didn't , not straight away at least. It's not that she didn't want to go, any time she had asked about Hogwarts her father had always looked happy, sad also, but the kind that's associated with remembering something good but something that was also lost. There were only a few details of his time at Hogwarts that he'd tell her, all vague images. No, it wasn't that she didn't like the idea of going to Hogwarts, she just didn't like the idea of leaving her dad. She was also a little scared of magic..._

_Their house wasn't much to look at, but a year ago when Nancy's magic really started to kick in, their little cottage in the Scandinavian woods had really suffered. She'd broken their windows more times then she could count, combusted multiple items of furniture that now were shabbily put back together. But each time it happened Nancy grew to be more scared of her magic despite Remus' reassurance. So the eleven year old was a little scared of the idea of magic, but she was more terrified of not seeing her dad all the time. She loathed the one night a month she was sent to stay with her grandfather when her dad had his transformations._

_The werewolf gene had scared her at first when Remus sat her down at six to explain who he was, why he had to change jobs as often as he did, why they lived so poorly. When she asked if she would become a werewolf too her dad had quickly soothed her worries, she would have turned by now so she was safe. It had terrified her beyond anything, but not because she was scared of her dad or disgusted that he was a werewolf. In fact she felt a little silly, but she was terrified that it would hurt to turn into a werewolf. Which it obviously did, but the pain of it and her bones breaking was what scared her most._

_But that didn't matter now. Because she just really didn't want to leave her dad._

_For weeks Nancy tried to ignore the impending date; September 1st. But it crept along quickly, and going through the stages of getting her supplies at Diagon Alley had been nailing nails into her own coffin. She'd held Remus' hand tightly as they walked through the busy street and she never let go. The morning of, Nancy tried to fake being sick but he'd seen right through her._

_"Nancy... honey I thought you'd be excited to start school."_

_She shook her head. "I don't want to leave you."_

_Remus sighed before sitting beside her on her lumpy mattress. "You don't have to be scared. Hogwarts is where you belong Nancy, it's the best school to learn all about being a witch."_

_She looked at him, her blue eyes welling with tears. "Are you sure?"_

_"Absolutely."_

_Remus apparated them to King's Cross and when they went through the pillar and to Platform 9¾; Nancy had lost he breath when she saw it. Her hand held tighter to Remus' and she watched it all with bright blue eyes. It was breath taking — absolutely enchanting, but also daunting all at the same time. Little Nancy Lupin looked at her father, her hand shaking in his._

_Her dad smiled down at her._

_"You've got this Nance."_

Even now—two years later—she still finds herself a little star struck. Grinning she turns to look at her dad, only it slips from her face when she notices the paleness of his complexion. His face is gaunt and he looks ill. This, while easy to handle, is something else she hates most about the were-gene. After every transformation her dad is so... vulnerable. It hurts to see him in so much pain.

"Dad..."

He tries to smile but it just looks like it hurts him more. "I'm fine Nance."

"Let me walk you to a carriage at least?"

The affection in his smile alway fills her instantly with a sense of lightness, like she's about to float up and away from the sheer force of his love. Ok, so maybe taking extra lessons again this year wouldn't be so bad, not if he keeps looking so proud even if she's a tiny human embodiment of a huge bloody mess.

"Sure. But don't let me hold you up from seeing your friends."

"You won't."

Her friends and she always sit in a carriage together, they have ever since coming home from Hogwarts first year. There's five of them; Emmy Finch and CC Danvers are both Hufflepuff girls who Nancy met after the sorting ceremony. Lucky for them they all shared a room together, and have ever since. Most people in Hufflepuff _are _nice, though sometimes their kindness comes more from a Hufflepuff's ability to tolerate. A lot of her fellow badgers have learnt to tolerate the fact that Nancy is wandless, and that her magical capability is that of a nine year old having a tantrum. Because of this, they work hard at keeping patient with her when Snape deducts points when she accidentally makes a cauldron fly across the Potions classroom. But Emmy and CC never bat an eye, and when they do they aren't scared to poke _harmless_ fun at Nancy, treating her like she's normal and not a freak.

Then there's Morgan Murphy and Eddie Newman, both Ravenclaws that find their Ravenclaw year level too pretentious to spend every waking hour with. While both can be just as annoyingly smart, they'd rather throw rocks at Nancy and watch as they explode on contact. Sometimes Nancy thinks they're mad, but they always help her with studying the theory of spells, even though she's hopeless at executing them.

Nancy really loves her friends, so she didn't mind that she'll have to find them a little later, because she knows they'll always save a seat for her. So she walks with her dad, eyeing him carefully in case he gets fainter and they leave the bulk of their luggage with the rest, taking their carry-ons with them in search for a carriage compartment. Thankfully they don't have to go very far, they find a compartment close-ish to the front of the train. She helps Remus lift his suitcase onto the overhead luggage holder, Slinky jumping from her shoulders from the disturbance and fleeing out the door.

"There." She grins. "All settled in. Are you sure you'll be fine?"

Remus smiles weakly at her, he tucks a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

"I think I'll have a nap during the trip. So yes—I'll be alright."

"Good. _Oh! _Here—"

She rifles through her tote bag hanging off her shoulder until her hands grasp the rectangular shape package.

"—have my chocolate. Y'know, in case you feel dizzy on the ride. I'll just buy some more when the trolley comes around."

Remus takes the chocolate from her gently. "Thank you. Now, you've spent enough time with your father. Go on, go find your friends."

Saluting him, she walks backwards to the door—bumping into it before she slides it open to leave.

"Love you! See you at dinner!" She calls over her shoulder.

Before the door slides shut she hears his soft laugh and mumble. "I love you too Nancy."

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Finding the carriage carrying her friends is a little harder than she originally expected. Students are mulling in the narrow halls of the train's carriages, and no matter how tight she holds onto her tote, it _still_ manages to hit other students as she passes, their faces morphing into looks of annoyance and than familiarity. _Yeah guys, it's just me. _She presses the bag to her chest and squeezes past more students. Finally, she recognises a distinct voice calling from a compartment ahead of her.

"No, no, _no_—_seriously_ guys? You're telling me you don't know who Freddie Mercury is?!"

CC is standing in the middle of the compartment, hands clutching at her thick brown hair as she looks at their friends with a series of emotions; disgust, despair and disbelief. CC is muggle-born and still doesn't entirely understand the whole 'two different worlds' concept of muggle London and wizarding London. It makes for an entertaining conversation, especially ones like these where CC gets particularly passionate… and outraged.

"You do this every time," Morgan drawls.

"I think it's adorable," Eddie remarks.

Emmy is laughing, chocolate melted at the corner of her lips.

"I just think this is one of the greatest wizarding tragedies. Not knowing Freddie, my god."

"I mean, it's sad but it's not exactly a _tragedy_ CC."

They all turn and look at Nancy standing in the open doorway. The smiles they give her warms her frigid toes—_she shouldn't have worn the pair with holes_—it courses through her veins until it feels like a sun is burning inside of her. CC is first to break rank, her smile morphing into a feign look of betrayal.

"Traitor."

Nancy sticks her tongue out at the other brunette before she sits herself between Morgan and Eddie, both who happen to oblige as she awkwardly spreads her limbs across them. Even though each new year Nancy wallows in self pity, it never lasts long when she sees her friends. It reminds her that extra classes and teasing are worth it if she gets to spend the better part of the year with these lot. And yes, she knows that she's one big juxtaposition but well... deal with it.

Eddie runs his fingers through Nancy's hair and she nearly sighs in pleasure... actually she thinks she might have and as embarrassing as that is, no one seems to call her out on it—thankfully. Their conversation starts up like Nancy never interrupted, she lets her eyes close, peacefully relaxing to the gentle hum of their voices. _Ok_—so maybe this morning she'd been a tad bit dramatic, she didn't really want to run away to the Amazon and live as a nomad with Remus. Nancy likes the civilities of life with running water too much to give it up.

"So Nance, is what you wrote true? Your dad is really going to be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?" Emmy asks her.

When Nancy doesn't open her eyes straight away Morgan pinches the sliver of Nancy's thigh peaking above her thighs high socks.

"Ouch!"

"Wake up princess." Morgan says with a smirk.

"I am awake." Rolling her eyes she smiles sheepishly at Emmy. "Yeah. He's on the train."

"Well—I'm sure class will be more exciting. Anyone is better than the priss we had last year," mutters Eddie.

Morgan extends her fist and Eddie bumps it with his own, their group murmur they're agreement. Lockhart had been a daft teacher, he spent more time looking at himself in any reflective material than teaching. Which made it extremely harder for Nancy. After her first three extra classes with him she just stopped going; there'd been no point. In fact, Nancy thinks he's worse than her at magic, and _that_ speaks volumes.

Getting so lost in their conversation, Nancy doesn't realise the train has already departed from King's Cross. In fact, for majority of the train ride Nancy allows herself to become lost in their conversations, in the laughter and smiles of the people she loves.

Nancy is napping against Eddie's shoulder when the train comes to a sudden halt, jerking her awake. Her eye open to light and then suddenly the lanterns within the train all go out at once, shrouding them all in a cloak of darkness. She begins to tremble, Nancy can't tell if it's in fear or her magic—it's all becoming one and the same. A hand grabs hers and she thinks it's Morgan but in the dark she finds her senses too swapped around to tell.

"What the fudge?" CC curses.

Nancy silently agrees, she squeezes Morgan's—_she thinks_—hand. The compartment is getting colder. In fact, the whole train feels colder—chillingly so. Eddie is sitting straight and rigid beside her—_or is it Morgan and she's holding Eddie's hand?_—his body tense and in the dark Nancy just makes out his hand clenching his wand. The noise of the other students have died and the entire carriage is silent, the entire _train_ is silent.

"There's something moving out there," Eddie whispers.

Nancy tries to look out the window but it's too dark for her to see anything. All she can see is the blackness of night which is strange because it certainly isn't that late for it to be so dark outside.

"Emmy..."

The concern in CC's voice breaks Nancy's thoughts, suddenly she can hear the sniffling coming from her other best friend and her stomach drops. Guilt engulfs her because she should have realised, the moment the lights went out she should have realised that Emmy wouldn't be okay. Ever since she met Emmy, she and CC have know she's afraid of the dark. And having all of the lights going out suddenly and the train stopping in result? Nancy can't blame Emmy for being scared because she's scared too.

Emmy doesn't say anything but she's still crying. Nancy moves, dropping Morgan's hand, and delicately moves to the seat opposite her. CC is already on one side of Emmy, rubbing the dark haired girl's arms comforting. Making sure not to step on anyone, Nancy moves to the spot beside Emmy and hugs her. Emmy is trembling from her crying, her shoulder jutting into Nancy's chest uncomfortably but Nancy keeps holing on. People like to make fun of Hufflepuff House, snarking that all Hufflepuff's ever do is hold hands and talk about their feelings—it's honestly not like that. And even if it is, Nancy's never really understood why it's such a bad thing anyway. _Oh—sorry guys, I don't want talk about my feelings so I'll let them bottle up until they bite me in the butt—_yeah, must be cool being a Gryffindor.

Nancy's not brave, but she'll never set aside being kind for any of the Houses.

Especially when looking after a friend.

CC wraps her arms around Emmy too, and like this they form a tight circle cradling their friend between them. She loses track of time, not sure how much time passes between the darkness then suddenly—light. There's no warning when the lights flicker back to life, they just go from darkness to light. As simple as that, yet there's nothing simple about what just happened. Immediately students start speaking again, louder and urgent as they start to open their compartment doors. Nancy looks over to see that both Morgan and Eddie have their wands out; Ravenclaws ever ready for what may come, but in that moment they looked more like Gryffindors. Emmy sniffles loudly but Nancy can feel her friend's body relaxing against her own and lets her arms drop to her side.

"Are you alright Emmy?" Nancy asks, pushing a strand of Emmy's black hair behind her ear.

"Yes—I'm sorry, I know it's silly."

"You're not being silly," CC reprimands softly.

"I'm going to go see if someone knows what happened." Morgan squeezes Emmy's shoulder before she goes.

Suddenly her stomach sinks—_Dad_.

"I—I need to go too. My dad..."

They all look at her, mirroring her alarm. Eddie's the first to react, he moves to Emmy and CC and nods his head towards the door.

"Go Nance, we'll be fine," he says as he rubs Emmy's back.

She looks at all of them one last time at the door, her heart twisting from the guilt of leaving them here confused with no answers and guilty that she didn't try to find her dad the moment the lights went off. Instead she stayed in their carriage where they hid — while there is nothing wrong with wanting to be safe, it's hard when Remus is so brave himself. He would have looked for her... maybe he has.

CC notices her lingering. _"Go."_

Retracing her steps is harder this time. Students are running up and down the halls, trying to find their other friends, family or news about what happened. This time they don't look at her as she bumps into them, they just bump back harder. Not to mention the train is running again and as the floor moves beneath her she trips every now and then.

_"Ow!"_

Something nips at her ankle, when she looks down she forgets about her pain however. Coiling around her feet is Slinky, he meows at her and darts forward, looking back once to make sure she's following. He might be difficult, but sometimes Slinky really turns up for her. Weaving after him, the voice of Remus reaches her ears, getting louder the closer they get. Finally she sees him in a window of a compartment ahead, she runs towards him. She bumps a few people harder, almost running a first year down, but Nancy for once didn't care.

She pushes through the open door, barely noticing the four other people standing in the carriage.

"Dad!"

_"Dad?!"_

Ron Weasley's voice breaks her stride, she blushes when she looks around and see's him, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom all looking at her. _Oh Helga_, they all shared a carriage with her dad. Remus is a pretty aware father but who knows what he might say if she's brought up into conversation—

"Seriously Ron, they share the same name. Professor Lupin—Nancy _Lupin_; it's really not hard to figure out," Hermione scolds.

—and because Hermione and Ron are here it only means that _he_ is here too. Slinky bursts pass her and she watches him leap and fall onto a body before darting away...

_"Harry!"_ Nancy panics, dropping to her knees.

And in that moment Nancy knows that she's completely outed herself. To not just her father, who she tells everything to except _this_. But also to Harry's closest friends—because since First Year Nancy Lupin has had the worst and most intoxicating crush on Harry Potter.

Who—and his friends—had no idea she existed.

At least that is, until most likely now.

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**note: **i hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please follow and leave a review :)


	2. a feast of dark warnings

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**chapter two:**

a feast of dark warnings

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**THE SKELETAL HAND OF THE** creature was the last image Harry saw within the terrible sweeping cold that had overtaken his body, the screaming ringing in his ears. It's the pain of someone slapping his face that brings him out from the fog, his eyes opening to his ebony mussed fringe in his eyes – he had run away before Aunt Putina could cut it.

"Harry! Harry! Are you alright?"

The slapping starts again – lighter this time, but still just as annoying.

"W–what?"

Harry's voice leaves his lips blurry, even to his own ears. Its wavering is embarrassing but his eyes start to focus. The lanterns above him are almost blinding, but his eyes adjust and suddenly he realises that the Hogwarts Express is moving again, like nothing happened. He's on the floor and Hermione and Ron are kneeling beside him, their eyes singling in on him with concern. Above them he manages to see Professor Lupin and Neville. Reaching for his glasses, suddenly his stomach twists – he's sick and sweaty, but things start clearing once his wired frames slide into place on the bridge of his nose.

Ron and Hermione help him back onto his seat, and that's when he notices her.

Her legs are tucked beneath her on the opposite seat, teeth grinding into her lip grotesquely. Her skin is pale, and her hair hangs limply in a way that Aunt Petunia would hate.

She looks terrible, but Harry feels like he looks much worst.

Nancy Lupin is easily recognisable, but maybe more so since it seemed not too long ago they'd been whispering about her in this very compartment, her father asleep across from them. He didn't realise he'd been staring until Ron's voice breaks him from the spell.

"Are you OK?" Ron asks nervously.

Harry swallows the dryness in his throat. "Yeah," he says, quickly looking at the compartment door. The hooded creatures have vanished. "What happened? Where's that – that thing? Who screamed?"

For a moment his eyes dart back to Nancy – was it her he heard through the white fog? Did she scream?

"No one screamed," Ron says, his nervousness somehow increased.

Looking around the now lit compartment, Harry notices Neville and Ginny sitting beside Nancy, all of them looked pale and terrified. Harry can't help but feel guilty that it makes hime feel slightly more sane, comforted that he isn't the only one who'd been scared by whatever that thing was.

"But I heard screaming—"

A loud snap sets them all off, they jump and look at Professor Lupin. He's breaking an enormous slab of chocolate into pieces, Harry can't help looking at the teacher incredulously.

"Here," Lupin says as he hands Harry the largest piece. "Eat it. It'll help."

Harry takes the chocolate, it's already starting to melt slightly in his hands. He doesn't eat it.

"What was that thing?" He presses.

"A Dementor," Lupin answers while giving chocolate to the others. "One of the Dementors of Azkaban."

Everyone is staring at him, Harry watches in particular as Lupin hands Nancy a piece of chocolate and she presses it right back into her father's hands. She's shaking her head defiantly but Lupin looks both exasperated and stern as he passes it back to the small brunette. She hesitates but takes a small bite of the chocolate and it's enough to make the tired lines of Lupin's face smoothen. The encounter sends a pang through Harry, a new reminder that this too is something he's missed out on.

Professor Lupin crumples up the wrapper and puts it in his pocket.

"Eat," he repeats. "It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…"

_ "Dad—"_

"I'll be back, stay here Nancy."

He strolls past Harry and out the door. Nancy's eyes track her father as he goes, Harry can see the panic clear in her blue eyes, watching as they flicker to Hermione nervously – then to himself, and then to her hands in her lap.

"Are you sure you're okay, Harry?" Hermione asks, not taking notice of Nancy but rather looking at him anxiously.

"I don't get it… what happened?"

"Well – that thing – the Dementor – stood there and looked around… I mean I think it did, I couldn't see it's face – and you – you…"

"I thought you were having a fit or something," interjected Ron. "You went sort of rigid and fell out of your sear and started twitching—"

"And Professor Lupin stepped over you, and walked towards the Dementor, and pulled out his wand," said Hermione. "And he said, 'None of us are hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go.' But the Dementor didn't move, so Lupin muttered something, and a slivery thing shot out of his wand at it, and it turned round and sort of glided away…."

"It was horrible," Neville trembles. "Did you feel how cold it went when it came in?"

"I felt weird," said Ron as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yeah… we were so scared…" Nancy breathes so softly that Harry barely hears her.

Nancy's hand is rubbing Ginny's back, the youngest Weasley huddling in the corner as a small sob leaves her lips in raspy chokes. Hermione moves over to the girls and wraps an arm around Ginny's shoulders, giving Nancy a warm smile over Ginny's head. Nancy flushes, her cheeks are a tomato red but she keeps her hand on Ginny's back – and Harry realises that a Hufflepuff's kindness shouldn't be made fun of.

"But didn't any of you—fall off your seats?" Harry asks awkwardly, painfully aware that when he came to, everyone else was standing or sitting at their seats.

"No," Ron says. "Ginny was shaking like mad, though…"

His embarrassment twists in his stomach, and Harry's misled hope gets stuck in his throat, strangling him so no words can leave his lips. It was so horrible and cold, but why is he the only one who reacted like he had? He can still hear the awful screaming, and remnants of the fog still seem to linger around his mind. He doesn't understand any of it.

Professor Lupin returns and pauses in the doorway, looking at Harry with a small smile. "I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know…"

Harry takes a bite of the chocolate and with great surprise feels better after doing so, quickly taking another bite, he savours both the taste and feeling it creates.

"We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes," Lupin announces. "Are you all right, Harry?"

Harry doesn't ask how Professor Lupin knows his name, since joining the wizarding world it seemed silly to question how people know him. But it never fails to make him feel like a stranger in his skin, restless and undeserving.

"Fine," he mutters, already embarrassed enough.

The compartment settles into a brief silence, none of them attempting to speak to each other. No one knows what to say, most of all Harry. He just feels strange – shame-like at his own body's reaction to the Dementor. They all politely ignore the hushed whispers of Professor Lupin and Nancy, seeming too private and important of a conversation for any of them to attempt to eavesdrop on. A moment between father and daughter, a moment he was too preoccupied by his own self pity to be jealous over. About five minutes pass before the silence in the compartment is broken.

"Um… I'm going to change into my robes—uh—see you all in class?"

Wincing, Nancy waves awkwardly at them all at the entrance of the compartment. Harry doesn't say anything, he doesn't really know what to say to Nancy. He's only ever seen her in classes before, and once in Second Year on the grounds of Hogwarts… crying. Harry looks to his friends and they seem just as awkward and unknowing on how to interact with the Hufflepuff girl. Hermione, seeming to be the only one without that problem, beams at the Hufflepuff with the same confidence she has when answering a Potions question.

"Yes, definitely! We will see you at Hogwarts Nancy!"

Nancy's eyes are wide blue saucers of panic but she waves one more time before running out of the compartment.

"We will?" Ron asks.

Hermione hits him with a glower. "Yes _Ron_. Don't be so daft."

Then she smiles at Harry, which confuses him even more.

* * *

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

Nancy runs from the compartment as quickly as she can, the residue embarrassment carrying with her through the carriage ride and to the Entrance Hall. Thankfully none of her friends are in a prodding mood and Nancy can keep the mortification of _literally_ falling to her knees before Harry Potter to herself. Luckily, as the renowned 'weird' Hufflepuff, she'd been able to fool his friends into thinking she's just dramatically nice, but Hermione wasn't fooled, her knowing grin let Nancy know just how much she saw of Nancy's desperation, and absolutely sickening crush. She has to make sure that neither her or Hermione are ever left alone in a room ever again. Hermione might have the tact not to mention the crush in front of other people, but Nancy is sure she wouldn't be as lucky by herself.

As a group, the five friends move toward the Great Hall, their steps sluggish and slow as the other students push past them and to the feast. CC walks arm in arm with Emmy who is a lot more quieter than usual, and especially sniffly still. The hooded cloaks of the Dementors standing guard at the school's gates troubled all of them, but Emmy started to silently cry again. Every now and then Nancy will reach over and squeeze the other girl's hand before letting it go and keeping to herself. CC has always been a lot better at distracting Emmy than Nancy. Slightly ahead of them, Eddie and Morgan are whispering back and forth to each other. She can't hear but she's sure they're talking about the Dementors and the possible reason as to why they'd interrupt the Hogwarts Express.

Before Nancy can step through the Great Hall's doors a gentle hand settles on her shoulder – stopping her.

"Miss Lupin, I'd like to discuss your extra curricular times for Transfigurations before you continue to the feast."

Professor McGonagall is a good teacher, though – like any of the Head of House – slightly bias to her own house and its students. Nancy musters a smile, despite her stomach aching for food and her feet for rest. But despite how angry how body might be at her, she still has to have this conversation, and it's either now or sometime in the foreseeable later – _better to just get it over with_.

"Yes, of course Professor."

Following after Professor McGonagall as the older woman weaves past students, Nancy nearly trip over her own feet when McGonagall comes to a sudden stop.

"Potter! Granger! I want to see you both!"

A small whine slips from Nancy's lips and McGonagall looks at her with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips. She winces, mumbling a 'sorry' as both Harry and Hermione join them. Harry looking particularly frightened as they approached, cautious and then curious when he spots her standing beside their Head of House.

"There's no need to look so worried – I just want a word in my office," McGonagall tells them. "Move along there, Weasley."

Ron hesitates and it makes Nancy smile slightly, his put off expression is just as endearing as the dirt crusting on the column of his neck. He stares dejectedly as they follow after McGonagall, joining the hall only once they're out of sight. Nancy can't help finding the he reminds her of her own very stubborn friends.

McGonagall's office is small but practical. There's a large fire burning and the warmth emitting from it is welcoming. It isn't the first time Nancy's been in McGonagall's office, but it's the first time she's ever been accompanied by other students. Her stomach twists with the strange nervousness of expecting to be in trouble, she knows she's not – but being dragged into an office with two thirds of the Golden Trio just evokes trouble. McGonagall herself settles into a large leather seat while Nancy, Harry and Hermione stand awkwardly next to each other.

"Professor Lupin sent an owl ahead to say that you were taken ill on the train, Potter."

Nancy feels secondhand embarrassment for Harry and her own mortification at Remus' meddling – even though she knows it's the reasonable thing to do as a teacher, but as her father it seems like a minatory betrayal… a very silly one but still…

Harry opens his mouth to say something but the door to McGonagall's office opening interrupts him, Madame Pomfrey bustling in like a woman on a mission – which she most likely is.

"I'm fine," Harry says. "I don't need anything—"

"Oh it's you is it?" Madame Pomfrey says while ignoring Harry's protests, bending closer to look at him. "I suppose you've been doing something dangerous again?"

Nancy stifles her giggle but Harry and Hermione hear it all the same, Harry shoots her an unamused look while Hermione just shakes her head. _Ok, definitely not the time._

"It was a Dementor, Poppy," Professor McGonagall replies.

All three students shuddering at the word.

Nancy fades from the conversation, it barely involved her anyway. Instead she lets herself remember what she and her friends had felt back in their compartment. The feeling of cold had been awful and the darkness that shrouded the compartment had terrified her. _Dementors_, they were what caused it, and it is unsettling enough that it happened but for them to also be at the gates of Hogwarts as they entered? Nancy couldn't even look at them as she walked by, feeling the coldness they emitted as she passed was enough to sicken, let alone seeing the ripped robes of their bodies.

…"Professor Lupin gave me some. He gave it to all of us."

Her father's name brings her back to the conversation at hand.

"Did he now?" Madame Pomfrey says approvingly. "So we've finally got a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies."

Nancy would have been insulted by the surprise but really it probably is, their last two teachers have been horrible – it isn't hard to beat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Lockhart.

"Are you sure you feel alright Potter?" McGonagall questions further.

_"Yes."_

"Very well. Kindly wait outside while I have a quick word with Miss Granger and Miss Lupin about their timetables, then we can go down to the feast together."

Harry and Madame Pomfrey both leave, and Nancy feels even more nervous about being left with both Professor McGonagall and Hermione. Hermione is practically vibrating with energy and from where they're standing Nancy can feel it. Instead of it rubbing off on her, it leaves Nancy feeling jittery, and not the good kind.

"Now, Miss Lupin. I've gone ahead and listed the times I'll be available for further lessons."

McGonagall places a piece of parchment on her desk, sliding it towards Nancy's direction. Moving to the desk, Macy takes the parchment delicately in her hands and looks over the times briefly.

"Once you receive you're timetable for the year send an owl for which of those times will suit best, Lupin."

"Of course Professor."

Nancy folds the parchment, placing it in her robe pocket.

"Good. Join Mr Potter outside please."

Nancy nods, ignoring Hermione's coy smile on her way out.

* * *

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

Nancy closes the door behind her to face Harry leaning against the opposite wall. He straightens at the noise only for the tension in his body to relax when he sees it's only her. He looks a lot better than he did when she first saw him…on the floor of his compartment. His skin had been so pale and sweaty, his hair messier than usual and sticking to his forehead. And while it's still messy and completely untameable, his skin has more colour to it now and she's glad for it. Nancy moves awkwardly next to him, and suddenly with a sickening twist of her stomach, she realises she hasn't asked how he is. Not even on the train.

"Are you OK?"

The words spew from her in a mess, speaking way too quickly and urgently that he must find her strange.

He looks shocked, but not at the nonsense of her words. Rather he looks shocked that she's even asked.

"I'm _fine_," he stresses again – a response so obviously rehearsed even she can tell.

"OK…" She trails off before starting again. "But really?"

It looks like he might repeat it again, his face already contorting into an expression of exasperation and annoyance. But he pauses, and Nancy notices how he physically thinks over her question. So she waits patiently, watching as the crease between his brow smoothens out, and as his green eyes flicker everywhere else before finally settling on her face.

"It was…"

"Terrible?" She offers.

"Did – did you fall too?"

In that moment she wishes she had. Helga, she wishes that she'd been bloody kissed by a Dementor if it meant she didn't have to watch Harry's face fall back into a silent frustration.

"No—" she says and his hope snuffs out so quickly. "—_But_ – we were _all_ scared. It was horrible – they're horrible."

Harry nods his head. "Yeah."

Seeming like her words have only made himself feel a quarter better about himself. Nancy chews on her lip nervously, kicking herself for pushing the matter – because now it's truly obvious how much Harry doesn't want to talk about this.

Thankfully, before she can say or do anything else that will upset him or humiliate herself, Hermione and Professor McGonagall leave the professor's office. Hermione looks particularly happy about something and Nancy hopes it isn't this failure of a conversation with Harry. The young witch's eyes are twinkling and she shoots Nancy a small smile as she passes. Nancy clenches her hands with anxious energy, trying to ignore the stupid moths dancing inside her stomach. And yes – they are moths because Nancy refuses to believe something as lovely as butterflies would ever dare torment her insides.

The three of them follow after McGonagall silently, and Nancy has never been more thankful for that. This is way out of her territory, not to mention she doesn't trust that she won't say something utterly embarrassing.

It doesn't take them long to reach the Great Hall, which is nice. It's once they've entered that Hermione breaks the silence with a small pout.

"Oh," she says softly. "We've missing the Sorting!"

While they're not looking, Nancy slinks away like the coward she is, making a bee-line for her friends at the Hufflepuff table. Emmy and CC have left a space open between them, and with the elegance of a new-born fawn she squeezes in-between them. They turn on her both instantly and simultaneously, the synchronisation so perfect that it surprises Nancy and she jumps a little in her seat. She almost expects them to start speaking the same thing at the same time, instead they both take two completely different approaches.

"Sorry we didn't wait for you Nance – we didn't realise you were gone until—"

"—was that Harry Potter and Hermione Granger you walked in with?" CC interrupts before Emmy can finish.

Dropping her elbows onto the wooden table that sit all of their house, Nancy puts her head in her hands and sighs. Today already feels like it's been stretched longer than usual, and somehow they _still_ have the Welcome Speech to hear. Her bunk is calling her, but so is the food she knows is coming. And because she must eat, and the speech has yet to start, there's no way she can ignore her friends without obviously ignoring them.

"Emmy how was your summer break?"

Emmy smiles and opens her mouth to answer, excitement shining in her eyes, but CC interrupts… again.

"You're avoiding. Em don't let her avoid the question. This is Harry Potter we're talking about."

Emmy's eyes twinkle with mischief, and it truly terrifies Nancy so much that she answers CC before the other girl can say something.

"Yes it was – and no, it isn't anything you're thinking. McGonagall just wanted to see us all."

Like the nice friend she is, Emmy's expression drops to concern while CC simply raises and eyebrow and smirks.

"So you didn't try to snog Potter in a classroom somewhere?"

"_No_ – Jeez CC, Hermione was there!"

Both Hufflepuff girls start giggling and Nancy sputters to recover herself.

"I mean – no, of course not! I'm not going to snog Harry!"

Emmy smiles softly – teasingly. "But you want to."

Moaning with frustration, Nancy drops her head onto the table to muffle the sounds. Her friends are truly intolerable, and it's more infuriating knowing that if Morgan and Eddie were here, they'd be making matters worse. The thing is, yes – she might have a small crush on Harry. But Nancy doesn't extend the crush into loving Harry, or whatever lovesick fairytale her friends imagine it to be. She might be a Hufflepuff – and quite Hufflepuff at that – but she isn't oblivious or naive… at least not to everything.

It's just a small feeling of liking, and it's simply just nice to like someone, nice to feel gooey when she sees someone. It isn't something she plans on acting on – _ever_. Harry's world is so far beyond Nancy's. He's a phenomenon, and Nancy? Well, she's just trying to pass her classes. Before she can tell her friends off, or demand she pleads the fifth, Dumbledore's voice echoes through the hall. With a small wave of his hands they're all enraptured, his little movements are grand in their own shining way.

"Welcome!" He greets. "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…"

Nancy's glad for the Headmaster's interruption, it means no more peering questions from her best friends – well, for the moment at least. But she is troubled by whatever the Headmaster has to say, the Dementors are a terrifying reminder that something is very wrong and Hogwarts is at its centre.

"As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the Dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business."

Nancy can't help herself, her eyes move to look at Harry and she's embarrassed knowing that she isn't the only person looking his way. Ashamed, she forces herself to look away and at the Headmaster. There's nothing helpful about being apart of the mass of students, she's already accidentally made Harry uncomfortable today.

"…while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementor's are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises – or – even Invisibility Cloaks."

_How strange_.

"It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the Prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs foul of the Dementors."

From his words, she feels sick with fear, a cold bead of sweat rolling down her back as she shivers. Looking to her friends beside her, they both look just as stricken by the news as her. _If the Dementors can hurt them then why are they here?_ How can the Headmaster think this is a good idea? Nancy shivers in her seat and looks at her dad, who's looking just as calm as Dumbledore and the other members of faculty. He believes Dumbledore and Nancy knows she should too. But Dementors… and not giving the Dementors a reason to hurt them? It makes her skin tingle and not in a pleasant way.

"On a happier note," he continues. "I'm pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year. Firstly, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Nancy grins proudly at her father despite the hesitant applause of the other students, along with her friends and a few others she cheers loudly at her father's appointment as Professor. Her smile widening when she notices the small blush of embarrassment and pleasure on his cheeks. One of the things she loves most about her dad is how his feelings are just as much an open-book as her own. It makes things easier, and it makes her dad lovely in her eyes.

Nancy half heartedly pays attention to the rest of Dumbledore's speech and announcements, and by the time the feast is presented to them, her stomach grumbles loudly for nutrition.

Digging in, Nancy pushes away all her fears and lets herself just enjoy the food and being reunited with her friends. Maybe… despite everything Dumbledore has warned them about, just maybe this year can be better. She's always loved her time at Hogwarts, despite some of its difficulties, but this year she will try harder.

In her bones, she knows this year will be different.

* * *

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

**author's note: **i have actually casted my oc's but obviously you can imagine them how you like, but this is how i picture them:

**nancy lupin**: danielle campbell

**celeste "cc" danvers**: zoey deutch

**emmeline "emmy" finch**: lana condor

**morgan murphey**: vanessa morgan

**edward "eddie" newman**: timothee chalamet

_**disclaimer:** any familiar content you see does not belong to my but to j.k rowling and their rightful owners._

**Please leave a review and follow !**


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